Weddy's War Zone

Monday, February 20, 2006


this is my man at various stages of drunkedness at his birthday party.

alcohol is bad for you. especially if you have friends who have deep pockets and are bent on helping you celebrate the aging process.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Desserts to Die For.


Went for dinner at Big Fish and had the most delectable delights. Such pretty presentation too. Oh yah, the main courses weren't bad either.

No longer single Furby


Yay! Furbykins just gave me her wedding invitation. It's about time girl.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Computer Jargon

Why does the Malaysian Government insists on using English for maths and science?

This is because the whole world uses the language as an information and/or technology language.

How dangerous it would be if we try to use Bahasa, especially in schools.

See the examples below :

Hardware = barangkeras
Software = baranglembut
Joystick = batang gembira
Plug and play = cucuk dan main
Port = lubang
Server = pelayan
Client = pelanggan

Try to translate this :


That server gives a plug and play service to the clients using either hardware or software joystick.

The joystick goes into the port of the client.

Now in BAHASA :

Pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main dengan menggunakan batang gembira jenis keras atau lembut.

Batang gembira itu dimasukkan ke dalam lubang pelanggan.

received via email 17th Feb 2006

Friday, February 17, 2006

Love is...

Stolen from Anthony...

Love is paying the wages of of someone else's sin.

Love is the sacrifice you never knew you'd make, and don't mind making now that you know.

Love is the answer to the question "What the **** am I doing here?!"

Love is the courage to send out just one more job application after a long string of rejection letters.

Love is always knowing that there is something more important than just yourself.Love is the tantrum you wished you never threw.

Love is forgiveness unearned.

Love is grabbing today by the balls....and squeezing hard.

Love is spitting in the face of an uncertain future.Love is the faith that, somehow, things will work themselves out.

Love is staring at your dwindling bank account, and the corners you have to cut to make it last, just a little longer.

Love is the heartache you get from the millions of things you can't give.Love is joy from the one thing you can give.

trust my eloquent friend to come up with this. i was so touched by it I had to put it up. hope you guys enjoyed it as much as i did.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Match Point

Today is my man's birthday and we did not get to go out till late cuz he had to work.

I met up with my Target Twin who after watching memoirs of a geisha is still in her "Hatsumomo" phase.

We went to watch Match Point and chose to watch the show at GV Marina so we could enjoy a meal at Carl's Jr. We had planned to have Ben &Jerry's too but needless to say we stuffed ourselves senseless and had to give Ben & Jerry's a miss. Good thing Match point was such an interesrting movie we did not fall asleep. I just love films by Woody Allen.

My target twin and I met up with my guy after the movie and we bumped in Suzanah and her hubby. They still got that newlyweds kinda glow about them. So sweet (sickeningly so). I am glad for them. They look so genuinely happy. It was almost unbearable.

We headed off to Carl's Jr (again) cuz my man wanted to eat there. We had a fun time of catching up and gossiping.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Inventive means of payment

Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his class but she belonged to someone else.

One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said. "I'll give you a $1000 if you let me screw you."

But the girl said "NO!".

Johnny said "I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says "Ask him for $2000, by the time you pick up the money he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal.

Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend calls and asks "What happened...?"

She said


received via email on 15th Feb 2006

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Points to ponder on this day of days

Don't buy into the facade of love this Valentine's DayThursday.

A FRIEND told me she had dropped many hints to her husband to buy flowers for her for Valentine's Day. I suppose she believed it was the appropriate way for him to show her that he still loves her.

When I was a teenager, I used to dream about walking down Orchard Road with a big bunch of roses. But having once worked on Valentine's Day delivering flowers to lovestruck young girls all over Singapore, I have come to the conclusion that there is more to love than roses.

There was a man who ordered two bouquets: One for his mistress, and a bigger one for his wife. I suppose he was hoping his wife would still believe that he loved her.

Then there was this girl in America who o rdered a box of chocolates for her boyfriend in Singapore. My heart dropped when I delivered the chocolates to his house. The dinner table was set for two, complete with candles and flowers ? but I knew that his dinner companion would not be the girl in America.

Each February, men are reminded to show how much they love their girlfriends or wives by buying flowers, chocolates, diamonds ? and, of course, the mandatory candlelight dinner.

How much of this expectation is shaped by advertising firms and retail outlets?

Thirty years ago, Valentine's Day was virtually unheard of in Singapore. Nonetheless, men and women still fell in love and stayed in love.

Now, I sense that women in Singapore are dictating how men should love them. And more often than not, their demands for expressions of love are shaped by women's magazines, which inundate them with suggestions on how to spend Valentine's Day.

It has come to a point where some men expect payment in terms of sex after spending so much money on an attractive lady. Thus, it is no surprise that men often use words of love to get sex, while women use sex to get words of love.

This could be a factor that has contributed to the rise in divorce rates in Singapore. Women often define love as a feeling or as an attraction, and choose our life partners on this basis.

What happens when that feeling dies or changes, as all feelings will over time? Do we change partners the way we do in a social dance?

Do we consistently search for the elusive high that we get each time we fall in love with someone?

After being married for 18 years, I have come to the conclusion that love is not a feeling; it is a decision.

There are days when I do not feel any love towards my husband, when I want to tear his eyes out, and yes, sometimes I just want to walk out of this marriage.

A few years ago, I met someone who swept me off my feet. He was different from m y husband in many ways, and I thought I had fallen in love again. I was attracted to the feeling of being wanted, of being at the centre of someone else's life.

I felt young again and I was tempted to walk out of my marriage. A few of my friends supported my decision, as they felt that if there is no spark left in a marriage, it is all right to change one's partner.

But on closer reflection, I realised I had only fallen in lust. I realised that the feeling I had would disappear with this new-found love over time ? just as the similar feeling I experienced when I first fell in love with my husband had eventually faded.

What did I do with this emotion? I confessed to my husband.

I knew that he had accepted me for better or for worse ? and this was one of my worst moments. I knew that only by coming clean would we be able to continue with this relationship. He accepted me as I am, knowing that as a woman I could feel for other men, yet he showed th at he can trust me with my emotions.

Through this experience, both of us were reminded once again that love is not a feeling, but a constant decision that we make. Love demands that we choose each other constantly despite coming across alternatives.

This Valentine's Day, I chose to buy a gift for my husband. I had not bought him a gift in a very long time as I could never find anything suitable.

I seldom feel guilty for not buying him a gift for Christmas or for Valentine's Day; I would never buy a gift just because some article in a woman's magazine told me to. Neither would I buy one because my girlfriends have bought one for their beloved.

I chose to do so because I knew the gift would bring a smile to his face and joy to his heart. More importantly, I do not expect a gift in return.

The writer is an educator and a mother of six.

received via email on 14th Feb 2006

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Certainties in Life

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s."May I help you?" she asked.

"I want to see Valerie," the man replied."Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.

"No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged$1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundreddollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie.Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row--too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still$1,000.

Again the man pulle d out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astoundedthat he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerieand they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.

The man replied, "South Carolina."

"Really" she said. "I have familyin South Carolina."

"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that there are three things in life that arecertain :

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer

received via email on 7th Feb 2006

Friday, February 10, 2006

A world without engineers?

Aeronautical Engineers

Mechanical Engineers

Electronics Engineers

Communications Engineers

Civil Engineers

Computer Engineers

Received via email on 7th Feb 2006

Thursday, February 09, 2006


Last month, a world-wide survey was conducted by the United Nations.

The only question asked was...

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure because... :

In Africa they didn't know what "food" means.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" means.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" means.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" means.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" means.
In South America they didn't know what "please" means.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" means.

received via email 9th Feb 2006

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


Once upon a time there was a bunch of bunnies who worked very irratic hours in this carot farm that operated from a headquaters that was never closed.

These bunnies were an extremely diverse bunch. All of them came from different backgrounds and places, and were offf all shapes, sizes and characters but somehow they all managed to get along.

One of the bunnies use who used to be plumpish was now slim and sexy and now had so much confidence it was quite unbelievable. The other bunnies rejoiced with her at this great achievement. But slowly as time passed she became more and more full of herself.

The day came when this slim bunny met a handsome guy bunny and not too long after she told the other bunnies that she was getting engaged and all about the big party she was planning (but not inviting anyof her bunny friends to).

Once again the other bunnies rejoiced at her good fortune. But the rejoicing did not last long for the bunny friends were noticing many changes in this new improved slim bunny.

She was slacking off at the carrot farm, coming and going whenever she pleased. All this was starting to piss off her bunny friends. They also noticed other changes in her as well (she started to put on weight).

Finally one day they could not recognise the once slim bunny anymore. Her horrid work attitude and terrible character had magically transformed her into a pig and so the other bunnies treated her as an outcast and she ran away.


Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Happy Birthday to Me!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Important facts

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
So did the first " Marlboro Man. "

Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!


The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

And the best for last.....

Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(I know some people like that, don't YOU?)

received via email on 1st Feb 2006

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Amazing Cop Cars

Friday, February 03, 2006

Perfect birthday present

The Birthday Barbie.

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much is theBarbieon the display window?"

The salesperson answers,
"Which one?

We have: Work out Barbie for $19.95
Shopping Barbie for $19.95
Beach Barbie for $19.95
Disco Barbie for $19.95
Divorced Barbie for$265.95".

The amazed father asks: "What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and all the others only $19.95?"

The salesperson annoyingly answers :

"Sir..., "Divorced Barbie comes with :
Ken's Car,
Ken's House,
Ken's Boat,
Ken's Furniture,
Ken's Computer
Ken'sBest Friend.

received via email 3rd Feb 2006

Thursday, February 02, 2006

A little friendly causeway banter

A Malaysian dies and goes to hell.
There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goesfirst to the German hell and asks "What do they dohere?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for therest of the day."

The man does not like the sound ofthat at all, so he moves on.

He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Malaysian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in.

Amazed he asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for
an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Malaysian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so hecomes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen..."

received via email 3rd Sept 2005

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


the women in these pics aren't women at all.

received via email on 21st Nov 2005