The prettiest perlamin ever!

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and here's the happy couple.

and here are three glamourous vain pots.

Oi Kristang!!

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Happy Birthday Rob!!

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Dinner at central

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Mo, my man and I were in town and decided to try out that Hong Kong stly makan place at Takashimaya called CENTRAL.

It was quite packed but we managed to get a seat. Probably cuz there were only three of us. The menu was plenty interesting.

I had pepper battered pork chops and dry spicy noodles. The noodles were yummy but the pork chop thingy I would not recommend. I love pepper but even for me the taste was overpowering. Nothing fantastic.

My man and Mo has this beef brisket noodle soup thingy which they both claim was kickass wonderfully out of this world. So I guess I will be going there again to try other dishes.

Chin Chong

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Happy Birthday Chris!!

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Wanna rent a room in Japan?

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talk about small.

Dirty Toons

Shopping at Ben & Jerry's

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Yup! I managed to shop at an ice cream palour. Don't ask me how I have no answer for you.

But I could not resist. It's so pretty and it's PURPLE!!

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I wish for a vacation to....

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this place

She used to be a he

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or so the email I got claims.






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can you believe that? i can't. so chio!

WEI WEI

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENDY!!

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Church Sign Boards

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"No God, No Peace. Know God, Know Peace."

"Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside."

"Try our Sundays. They're better than Bulla's".

"Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here."

"People are like tea bags. You have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."

"Fight truth decay, Study the Bible daily."

"How will you spend eternity? Smoking or Non-smoking?"

"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives."

"It is not likely that there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."

"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."

"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing? - (U R)"

"In the dark? Follow the Son."

"Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."

"If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."

"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads,
"For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

When the restaurant next to another Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message:"We are open on Sundays, too."

And the winner is on the Pastor's parking spot:
"PASTOR'S SPOT, YOU PARK, YOU PREACH"

Chai Hong Jie

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOREEN!!!!!

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Church Humour

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There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking at their church parking lots, so they put up a sign saying:

"CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY. Trespassers will be baptized!"

Chinese people... English names

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Anne Chang (Mandarin) - Dirty

Anne Chin (Mandarin) - Keep quiet

Faye Chen (Mandarin) - Dusty

Carl Cheng (Hokkien) - Buttock

Monica Cheng (Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks

Lucy Leow (Hokkien) - You are dead

Jane Tan (Mandarin/Cantonese) - Frying eggs

Suzie Leow (Hokkien) - Lost till death

Henry Mah (Mandarin) - Hate your mum

Corrine Tai (Hokkien) - Poor fellow

Paul Chan (Mandarin/Cantonese) - Bankrupt

Nelson Tan (Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs

Leslie Tong (Mandarin) - Rubbish bin

Carmen Tng (Hokkien) - Long haired leg

Connie Mah (Cantonese) - Call your mother

Danny See (Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death

Rosie Teng (Hokkien) - Screws and nails

Pete Tsai (Hokkien) - Nose droppings/shit

Macy Koh (Cantonese) - Never die before/never try before

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Never take food from a stranger

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, "Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?".

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

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Email

A man checked into a hotel.
There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typedwrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent thee-mail.

Meanwhile.... Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home fromher husband's funeral. The widows decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushes into the room, finds his mother on the floor, and sees the computer screen which reads :


To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Reached

Date: 16 May 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW .....

Yours loving

Hubby

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Alamak!

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One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a b*** job?"

Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her.

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"

"Oh yes you can. Please?"

"No, no. I just can't"

"I'm begging you..."

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says,

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a b *** job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"


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Things you don't wanna hear

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After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.

"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the surgery ."

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Tips on calling the police

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George was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said no.

Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello", I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence.

Of course, the police caught them burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

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