Weddy's War Zone

Thursday, October 06, 2005


I know that I've said before that regrets are a waste of time. But I really wonder if this is the case when it comes to the friends I've lost due to my actions or theirs.

It has occured to me that at the time I declare myself no longer a friend of this particular person/perons I am filled with the righteous indignation that "this type of people" not worth my time or my friendship.

However, as I get older I wonder if that was a wise thing to do. Everyone has faults and everyone has good points too . (yes, even i, the great one have faults.)

I still have many friends, and no I do not go around outcasting people left, right and centre. (don't think so badly of me can?)

But once in a while something will remind me of a certain someone/somones that I no longer speak to and I get the longing to touch base with them again. Then I remember what utter jerks they were and I tell myself better that we are no longer in contact. No need to entertain such B.S. from them.

As time goes by I find myself wondering more and more often how thoses interesting, exasperating, lovely, zany, irritating, silly, jerk-ful characters from my past are doing. Are they still as silly as they used to be? Have they married? Do they have kids of their own?

Do they think of me?

Do they think of me as often as I think of them?

I tried to get back in contact with one person in particular. We had a falling out due to a third party. (A girl he was dating at the time.)

Half a year after later we were both invited to an outing by a person we both knew. The poor guy had no clue we knew each other. Things were awkward at first, to say the least.

Finally my friend turns to me and with sincerity in his eyes asked me how I've been. I tell him I've been quite good. Then I apologised and he did too. I was overjoyed. Despite his obsessive behaviour and weird temperment he is a GREAT guy.

By now all of you are thinking it was a great happy ending, right? NOT!

Two weeks later he calls me and yells at me for something I did not do, had no hand in doing and did not know anything about (until he called me and yelled at me). I have not heard from him since.

Inspite of this I did try to contact him again two years later. A mutual friend told me that his number had not changed and this mutual friend hinted that someone (the shouting guy) was regretful for what had happened between us in the past. He never replied my calls nor my text messages.

I'm now wondering if I should try to contact this other low life guy who I stopped talking to. I only stopped talking to him after some of my friends and I had spent money to help get him out of a great deal of trouble, just to have him lie to my best friend, take more money from her and then go on to treat all of us that helped him out like crap.

What say you?


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