Go get your mammies Grammed

This is hysterical! Be sure to read the whole thing.

For years and years they SAID

Be careful of your breasts.

Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.

And give them monthly tests.

So heeded all their warnings,

And protected them by law.

Guarded them very carefully,

And always wore A bra.

After 30 years of astute care,

My gyno, Dr Pruitt,

Said I should get a Mammogram

"OK," I said, "let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,

(She got my boob in line),

"And tell me when it hurts," she said,

"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,

I could not believe my eyes!

A plastic plate came slamming down,

My hooters in a vise!

My skin was stretched and mangled,

From underneath my chin.

My poor boob was being squashed,

To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,

Within it's viselike grip.

A prisoner in this vicious thing,

My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath," she said to me,

Who does she think she's kidding?!?

My chest is mashed in her machine,

And woozy I am getting.

"There, that's good," I heard her say,

(The room was slowly swaying.)

"Now, let's have a go at the other one."

Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,

It squeezed me from both sides.

I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,

To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,

I will request a blindfold.

I have no wish to see again,

My knockers getting steam rolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,

I surely have one now.

If there had been a cyst in there,

It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,

Of this, I have no doubt.

I'd like to stick his balls in there,

And, see how THEY come out!

OK gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember. Breast Cancer Awareness. Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! The WORST enemy is Breast Cancer.

received via email 18th Dec 2005