Weddy's War Zone

Monday, November 13, 2006

New vocabulary

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The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners.

1 - Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding a stupid person that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2 - Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3 - Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4 - Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5 - Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6 - Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7 - Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

8 - Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9 - Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10 - Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11 - Glibido: All talk and no action.

12 - Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13 - Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14 - Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15 - Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

16 - And the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.


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