It's good t be blonde?

oldie but one of my all time favs.

A plane is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to First Class and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde passenger that she's paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back.

The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Sydney and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she is only entitled to an economy seat and she will have to return to her original seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Sydney and I'm staying right here!"

Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land, to arrest this blonde girl that won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!"

He walks back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

The Pilot replied "I told her First Class isn't going to Sydney"!

Smokers

A man sees another leaning against the wall of a large building.

The second man is puffing away, one cigarette after another.

The nonsmoker says, "Sir, I couldn't help noticing how you chain-smoke.How many packs do you smoke a day?"

"Four."

"How long have you been smoking?"

"Thirty years."

"That's over forty thousand packs. Why, if you didn't smoke, you could have saved enough money to buy this building."

The smoker takes a deep puff and says, "Do you smoke?"

"Never."

"Do you own this building?"

"No."

"Well, I do."

copied from FF

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When you were 8 years old, your mum handed you an ice cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastic to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked her by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to drive his car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, se paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn’t be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

Mon Mama Merveilleux. (My mother is fabulous.)

And then, one day, she died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

I will survive (adult version)

At first I was afraid,
I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inchesLord, I almost died.
But I'd spent so many nightsjust waiting for a man that long, That I grew strong,And I knew that I could take you on. . .

But there you are,
Another lie!
I was ready for a Big Macand you've brought me a French fry.
I should have known it was so small,
Just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those jeans.

Go on now go,
Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inchesthen turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn't notice it pop out,
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?

I will survive,
I will survi-ive,
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive,
I will always have good sexwith a handful of latex.
I will survive,
I will survive. . hey, hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little wiener standing small and proud.
But too bad about your ego and to Hell with all your needs!
Now I'm saving all my lovin'for a cordless multispeed

Go on now go,
Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a dick that small I was treating diaper rash!
I should have asked for confirmation,
Should have asked for pictures, please!
Then I wouldn't have you waving thatwee winkie thing at me.

Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no little worm,
I'll always throw them back.
The only thing that I could do with a dick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick And then call it an hors d'oeuvre!

I will survive,
I will survi-ive,
Cuz as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex.
I will survive,
I will survive. . .hey, hey!

stolen from this place.


Go on now go,Get out of my sight,I'm going back to my appliance,Cuz I know it's length is right,And if I ever see your tiny pecker peckin' at my door,You'll be counting your 4 inches as you pick them off the floor.Go on now Go!

what i learnt in training today

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how to play with nails. quite a cool experiment though.

Tiny Theatre.

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presenting the smallest theatre i have ever been in.

this i think is sometimes used for private screenings.




that is the entire theatre. just one block of seats right smack i the middle.

classic example of bad dress sense

Felling like duck

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this place is in the hawker centre opposite the world trade centre.

talk about fantastic duck.

i went there frm home. i stay in the east and i am very lazy.

that's how good the duck is.





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SHOPAHOLICS

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look at the damage we did with just one day trip to Bangkok.

Thai food with a furby

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Doesn't it just make your mouth water?

Long Overdue

Congrats furby!

Spell Check available to sign makers?

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DOMS?

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Two Nuns

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There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL) .

It was getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what! shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.


received via email 13thMar2006

Why was the Internet Born?

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P**N

ahahahahaha!!!!

p.s. goes to show people who play W.O.W. are damn free.